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For me, anyway. I just appreciate the (seemingly benign) words chosen for the task.

When Loggins hits that one “TO” real high and desperate in one of his last “highway TO the Danger Zone”s

Oh, my gosh:

“ONE LUMP OR TWO?!?!”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_expressions_related_to_death

My favorites include:

• to go the way of all flesh
• to take a dirt nap (I want “dirt nap” to be my middle name)
• to hand in one’s dinner pail
• to peg out
• to make the ultimate sacrifice (a classic)
• to pop one’s clogs
• in Abraham’s bosom

For anxiety/a buzzing brain, the following keep popping up for me, and making me happy each time (and sort of appeared, as initial ideas then habits, unintentionally. Thanks, brain/memory-riddled-beyond-control-with-pervasive-pop-culture!):

1. You Can Call Me Al – Paul Simon

When I’m internally badgering myself with questions, some excitable/escalating lyrics from the song (“Where’s my wife and family? What if I die here?”) automatically pop into my head, and then I laugh. What, indeed, if I die here, Paul? That’s a possibility, and a worse alternative to whatever was bugging me, but mainly the song reminds me that both me and the narrator are being self-involved twits (if very human ones) and should calm the hell down.

2. Counting

When you count down from 10 in your head (or creepily mouth the numbers), you can control how long each interval is while you’re waiting for something — anything — to happen (a bus’ arrival, someone to shut the hell up, etc), which makes the experience easier, because waiting for stuff has become unbearable sometimes. You can count really slowly or even — if you have the guts/need to — start over. It’s fantastic. I can count reeeeal slow.

3. The Rock Yelling “It Doesn’t Matter”

The most recent arsenal addition. A friend showed me this song/inflicted it upon me recently and, when I was fretting about something or other a few weeks ago, I suddenly heart Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson yelling at me, bless him. It’s so good.

Searched for “woman calling cops.”

To the the cigarette I was just rolling (with difficulty, as the paper got stuck to itself), I said, aloud, “Stop being an asshole; what’s that about?”

i feel sad when an unpaid “social media internship” even shows up among my job search results.

(meanwhile, still no responses to my job board post offering an apprenticeship in dithering. go figure.)

1. The pouring of concrete being a pretty confident act, jackhammers seem to be the mechanical embodiment of the term “oops.”

2. Between colds, one forgets how stoned they make one feel.

KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN

KEEP AWAY FROM OPEN FLAME

AVOID DROWNING