Category Archives: Snotty Responses to Song Lyrics

Snotty Response: KISS

“Girl, I can make you feel okay.” – Love Gun

Well, we’ve still got several other applicants coming in later this afternoon, but we have your resume, and we’ll definitely be in touch soon either way.

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Snotty Reaction: F U, Tal Bachman

“She’s blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone    [none yr damn business, tho]
She’s touch, smell, sight, taste and sound

But somehow I can’t believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong    [whoa there, guy]
And nothing’s gonna happen    [agreed]
Yeah, yeah

‘Cause she’s so high
High above me, she’s so lovely
She’s so high    [o yeah?]
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite   [died horribly, died horribly, imaginary]
She’s so high, high above me”

I like your father’s work, and everything, but damn. These are not the lyrics of a man who has healthy relationships with she-people.

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Album Subtitle Snottiness: Lynyrd Skynyrd

Okay, so:

A. no it isn’t; at least, I’ve never done so before and don’t particularly intend to start doing so now

B. LynSkyn rolls pretty deep. I never knew that.

lynard skynard

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Snotty Response: Tom Petty on Empathy

“You don’t know how it feels
You don’t know how it feels to be me.”

Indeed I do not, Tom.

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Snotty Response: Shania Twain

“Okay, so you’re a rocket scientist. That don’t impress me much.”

… does it not? 

Really?

Huh.

It seems you and I assign value quite differently, Ms. Twain.

Bonus:

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Snotty Response: Creedence Clearwater Revival

“You don’t have to worry ’cause you have no money / People on the river are happy to give”

At which point the Southern Waterway Tourism Board decided, as one, to fire CCR as its spokesband.

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Snotty Response: Bob Dylan

“I didn’t mean to treat you so bad / You shouldn’t take it so personal
I didn’t mean to make you so sad / You just happened to be there, that’s all.”

Oh… okay, Bob. That just makes it alright, then. Thanks so much.

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